I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
