we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
