come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
