when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
