Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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