sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
