Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
well you can't waste a boner
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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