sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
