Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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