Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
you never un-have a 4some
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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