So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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