And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
