Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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