i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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