We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
