you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
