He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
