Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
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