her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
