dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
