This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
