do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Please don't give away my fajitas
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
