Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
