would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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