How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
