Whod you bang
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize