the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Randomize
