Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
