I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
