i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My hand turned me down
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
