He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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