I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
