I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
