I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm like, not good at living.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
