I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize
