thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
