found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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