Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
