my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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