masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
God, I missed his penis.
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