Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
