What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
