i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We left an ass print on the piano.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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