Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
