i barfeds in our rink
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
