her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
