I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
