Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize