Nicole vs. Life
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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