she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
