You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
