see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you will always have a special place in my vag
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
