Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
