Someone shit on the floor
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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