WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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