im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
