1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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