I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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