i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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